Dad dreams & realities

Sometimes I have high-flying ideas of who I am and how I will deal with certain situations, should they show up. Then life happens and I learn something about myself that is not so high-flying. It’s good to see how human and “imperfect” I am. It also makes me more understanding of other people and maybe I’ll be able to hold back one of those knee jerk Pollyanna pieces of advice next time I hear someone suffering from something.

The will to seem “normal” has turned out to be stronger with me than I thought it would be and it’s not something I am proud of. If anything it’s a good reality check against my previous relatively problem free life. Having special needs feels uncomfortable sometimes, and jeebus knows my special needs are very mild, but I don’t want to come across as weak. It’s easy to tell other people to just be straight forward an honest about whatever needs and conditions they have and things will be fine, but as always they tune is different when it’s about myself.

I hope you all have a good week and thanks for stopping by!




…to celebrate the arrival of episode #7.


There has been celebrations, summer is in full swing, kids get to stay up late and the story is trucking ahead.

Last night I stopped by to see the tail end of a talk by my old hero Winston Smith at Pegasus Books in Berkeley. It’s a great book store by the way. After getting to shake his hand and telling him what a great influence on my teenage years and life he was, I was browsing through the comic book/graphic novel section and I stumbled upon another book about a health condition! I actually can’t remember ever seeing a comic dealing with these issues before, but maybe I haven’t been looking hard enough, and since I am doing my story now, I guess my eyes are extra attentive to these types of things. You know like when you’re looking for a toaster and now you seem to see toasters everywhere? Anyway, the book is by and about the great writer, and Robert Crumb collaborator, Harvey Pekar. It’s called “Our Cancer Year”. I have never heard about this book before, which is weird since I am a Crumb fan and like to think that I am keeping an eye on what happens around him creatively, but you live and you learn. I am not sure I am ready to read it yet, but I will for sure eventually.

I also spent some time in the E.R. a few days ago. My swollen foot was bugging me so I went to see the doctor to have it checked out. It’s a good example of how any ailment can turn into a bigger scare since I am a person who had a heart transplant. Since I felt the foot had started swell up after a plane ride, both me and the doc touched upon the possibility of a blood clot (=sitting still for a long time + blood getting stuck in your feet + the air pressure in a plane being different etc, etc.) Since a blood clot can be fatal I was off to the E.R., which, by the way, is a place that will be talked about in next week’s installment.

Anyway, I better stop before this turns into a complete orgy of links (too late!).

Hope you’re all doing well and thanks for stopping by and reading.

Still truckin’ and not having ceviche.

Week #5 and still truckin’! This week there’s some more educational stuff about what happened with the heart failure and the difficulties I had dealing with a new reality.

I just got back from a sweet week in Mexico where I basically walked around in swim trunks and relaxed. Having this condition, here are some things I need to do when going on a trip like this (I might just draw this out at a later point):

– wear a lot of sunscreen since I am on immunosuppressants = easier to get skin cancer from that big, yellow ball.

– not eat any ceviche since it’s considered a raw animal product = possible bacteria = possible infection.

NOT DRINK THE WATER the nurse told me, for the same reason as above.

– wear a mouth mask on the plane since the air is circulated and lots of people exhale whatever they have going on in their bodies. This is more optional now since time has passed since the surgery and I didn’t end up wearing one.


There are still frame problems with the comic that bum me out, but oh well, just a process to figure it out. Thanks all for reading, passing on, commenting and complementing.

Have a great week everyone!

Keep rollin’…

Hi again,

Thanks for all the nice words and for reading. This week’s post deals when my heart failure really went into high gear and I could feel that something was hindering me. I swam just one lap and needed to stop for a breather. I grew up swimming and competing, so that was definitely something that was odd.

After the swim it felt like I had a swollen ball right under my sternum, which I later learned is called the “gastro intestinal area” (any health care people in the house, correct me if I am wrong), and that feeling would be something that would come back again and again.

Thank you so much for reading and have a great week!